Liverpool supporters have confirmed their interest in approaching Pep Guardiola with a view to filling the managerial hotseat vacated by Kenny Dalglish’s sacking yesterday.
Guardiola, decorated, resigned from his position as Barcelona coach last month following a trophyless campaign, and the Anfield faithful see the Spaniard as the ideal man to lead the Reds’ charge for a top-7 finish in next season’s Premier League.
The supporters, delusional, have outlined their plans for Guardiola in a series of long-winded and borderline fruity message board posts which shall be printed off and presented to him along with a basket of muffins, as long he’s willing to come and meet then in the Sandon pub on Oakfield Road, say 6.30pm tomorrow?
The plans include:
* Stomping their feet and wailing until the club’s American owners agree to back him with proper money, not the buttons they laid on last summer
* Round-the-clock access to Dalglish’s wisdom – he’ll be in a rocking chair in an empty room upstairs if you need his help, just give him a nudge if it looks like he’s snoozing
* A badge bearing the slogan ‘Honorary Scouser’
* His own ‘Dear Mr Hicks’ video, in which Ricky Tomlinson, Ian McCulloch and Pete Price take it in turns to say how lovely he looks today, and how him taking the Liverpool job is a bit like someone breaking into your house and baking delicious cakes for your family over an extended period of time
Some Norwegian guy said: “Obviously our first choice is Jose Mourinho, but we’re realistic enough to realise that one might not be a goer.
“After all, he used to manage one of our main rivals, and I’m sure he still feels ashamed and embarrassed about that time he shushed us during the Carling Cup final.
“That’s a shame, because he’s certainly got the credentials to restore us to our rightful place amongst the top 1.”