Liverpool boss Rodgers buys own hype for undisclosed fee

Reds manager Brendan Rodgers
Rodgers stops to pose for a photo with a fan (Img: irvin calicut)
Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers has completed the purchase of his own hype for an undisclosed fee.

On a day that had already seen Charlie Adam, Andy Carroll and Jay Spearing on their way out of Anfield for various fees and durations, Rodgers moved quickly to land his own accelerated mythology in time for this weekend’s thinly veiled dig at one of his own players in the press.

According to Rodgers, the presence of his own hype, 18 months, made it a no-brainer to ship out various first team squad players with the apparent relish of an escapologist handcuffing himself to a concrete block at the bottom of the ocean.

He said: “I’ve been looking at my own hype for a while now so I’m delighted to have finally landed it.

“The thing is, if you dominate possession then you’ll win eight times out of ten, so what we need to do is pass and move, pass and move, and the statue of me outside Anfield will take care of itself.

“In years to come misty-eyed folk will be telling their grandchildren how everyone thought I was mad to play Stewart Downing at left-back, but it turned out to be the masterstroke that secured a top eight finish for the mighty Reds.”

He continued, unprompted: “You know, if having a camera crew following me around these last few weeks has taught me one thing, it’s that having a camera crew following you around for a few weeks makes you by definition really, really important and majestic.

“You won’t have seen my one-to-one bits yet but I can assure you they’re well worth a watch.”

He added: “You’ve seen The Office, haven’t you? Like I said, well worth a watch.”