Leeds United manager vanishes, tea lady questioned

McDermott was previously left shaken when he was fired by a Rod Stewart impersonator from Dulwich.

Candlestick… Murder weapon? (Image: Nino Barbieri)

Leeds United’s tea lady has been taken in for questioning in relation to the sudden and ongoing absence of manager Brian McDermott, it has been blurted.

McDermott, studious-looking, had previously been left shaken when he was relieved of his managerial duties by a Rod Stewart impersonator from Dulwich.

He then narrowly escaped unharmed when some Catholics plotted to blow him up in 1605, followed by a series of increasingly flawed attempts at capture by an ACME-assisted Neil Warnock.

Not only is McDermott now nowhere to be seen, but he is believed to have been murdered by the tea lady with the candlestick in the away dressing room toilets.

GFH Capital shall remain the club’s owner until about lunchtime, upon which anyone is free to turn up and claim ownership of Leeds United as long as they bring wheelbarrows full of cash with them, and some helicopters made of gold.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Leeds United’s tea lady was unable to tell us anything related to the case lest she be accused of perverting the course of justice, or whatever.

She said: “I can show you Ross McCormack’s favourite mug if you like.”

It was a nice mug, we can exclusively reveal.