Laudrup Paris trip “delightful”, confirms Swansea player delegation

"How many extra games for Europa League? Too many, that's how many," moans ponytailed Spaniard.

Arc de Triomphe
Arc de Triomphe… Seen (Image: Sese Ingolstadt)

It was to be the Michael Laudrup Paris trip that ushered in managerial change at Swansea City – but the trip itself was “delightful”, according to a Swansea player delegation.

The delegation, anonymous, also confirmed themselves to be well rested and positively raring to go following a two-day break from fighting each other in training, going out and getting loaded, then coming in the next morning and complaining to chairman Huw Jenkins that Laudrup’s methods weren’t getting rid of their hangovers.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, a ponytailed Spaniard who wished not to be named explained that Laudrup began to lose the dressing room when he led them to League Cup success with a 5-0 win over Bradford City at Wembley last season.

He said: “That was the beginning of the end of our relationship with el gaffero.

“I mean, how many extra games due to Europa League qualification? Too many, that’s how damn many.

“And in places like Russia and Switzerland, for crying out loud. How am I expected to avail of midweek 2-for-1 nights at Swansea’s student hot spots if I have to work in bloody Russia on Thursday?

“Naturally, we didn’t stand for it. Especially Michu, who’s not stood up for a few months now.

“I forgot to take him out of my Fantasy Football team for like three weeks or something after his injury, that was costly.”

He continued: “I had Andy Carroll in my team at the weekend and all.

“If only I’d remembered that when I collapsed to the floor wailing like a banshee and got him sent off.

“One is forgetful after seven or eight £1 double vodkas the night before. It was Swansea player delegation night at Revolution, you see.

“Oh yeah, the Laudrup Paris trip. He says it was delightful, went to the Louvre and everything.

“I was rambling so much I’d forgotten what the point of this news story was.”

Laudrup was unavailable for comment as he was busy not giving a flying one about the whole sorry mess.