John Terry crying scoops gong, Gerrard tearful

Hasty guard of honour organised in recognition of Champions League exit blub.

John Terry crying looks a bit like this except more crying-y
Terry… Ble (Image: Paul Bence)

Steven Gerrard was left tearful last night when the John Terry crying that followed Chelsea’s Champions League exit to Atlético Madrid was awarded blubbing’s top honour.

Terry was presented with the Golden Teardrop on the Stamford Bridge pitch immediately following the full time whistle, with teammates and coaching staff lining up around him and clapping their hands in what is already being described as “a guard of honour”.

Gerrard looked to have scooped a last-gasp gong with a wistful weep following Liverpool’s recent 3-2 win over Manchester City, so this even-last-gasper gongscoop from erstwhile England teammate Terry is sure to really scoop his proverbial gong.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, a tearful Terry indicated through heaving sobs and hefty hanky blows that he’d like to thank his wife, his children and several other people’s wives.

He roared: “People say I’m racist, but sleeping with your teammate’s missus isn’t racist.

“She was French, so if anything it was downright inclusive.”

When it was put to him that accusations of racism stemmed not from that but from the time he was caught on camera labelling Anton Ferdinand a “slack runt”, Terry remained philosophical.

He said: “Oh. Well yes, I suppose that was quite racist.

“I sincerely hope that when a nation picks up this morning’s back pages and sees John Terry crying, they decide to embrace my softer side.

“I love them all. And their lovely spouses.”

He added: “Seriously, you’re still making jokes about that?

“At least make me say something original.”