Is Adnan Januzaj England’s future? That’s the opinion of idiots, who have called for the Manchester United starlet to be nationalised in time for the winter World Cup of 2022.
Januzaj announced his arrival on the big stage this weekend with two goals at Sunderland, which he celebrated by clambering onto a specially mounted big stage and announcing “hello, I’m Adnan Januzaj and this is my arrival” through a megaphone.
The strikes, impressive, got moron mouths a-flapping about how jolly lovely it will be once their perpetrator has been anglicised and shunted into a traditionally makeshift England midfield.
However, that can’t happen because it’s against the rules, or something – oh, and if he wants to he could play for Belgium along with Eden Hazard, Vincent Kompany, Christian Benteke and Romelu Lukaku.
And Marouane Fellaini, Jan Vertonghen, Simon Mignolet, Axel Witsel, Thomas Vermaelen, Mousa Dembélé, Nacer Chadli, Kevin Mirallas and Steven Defour.
Or, you know, he could bide his time and line up alongside a veteran James Milner.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, an isolated non-idiot deigned to explain that the Januzaj England nationalisation cannot possibly happen because he hasn’t been educated here for five years. Or something.
She said: “He’s so uneducated that he might even choose to play for Albania.
“If you ask me, that’s pretty darn uneducated right there.”
She added: “Of course, it could be a ruse to get out of playing in that winter World Cup secured by bribes and organised by genuinely evil slave-drivers.
England manager Roy Hodgson was unavailable for comment as he was busy sending a muffin basket to Cristiano Ronaldo.
Does the Adnan Januzaj England nationalisation excite you? Outline the extent of your idiocy in the comments section below…