Jackson Martínez is Colombian, it has been confirmed by Porto star Jackson Martínez.
The forward, definitely not Ecuadorian, was cited by ITV’s Clarke Carlisle yesterday as a player whose absence proves the strength of Ecuador’s squad.
Unfortunately for the erstwhile Countdown contender and Burnley centre-back, Jackson Martínez is Colombian.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Jackson Martínez scoffed in no uncertain terms at the suggestion of his being Ecuadorian.
He roared: “I played for Colombia against Greece only bloody yesterday, Clarke Carlisle you absolute twonk.
“Don’t you watch the games on BBC? It was yesterday at around this time. Maybe you were drunk then or are now?
“Honestly, I wake up every morning and thank the Lord I’m Colombian and therefore don’t have to suffer ITV’s live football coverage.
“Clive Tyldesley, Andy Townsend and Peter Drury would do my head in if I had to listen to their witless drivel every day.
“And I think I finally get why everyone hates Adrian Chiles. I didn’t really understand it before – I found him to be sound and avuncular on the episodes of The One Show that I have sent over on tape – but yeah I think I get it now.
“He hasn’t even been capped by England. Lineker for me every time, lad.”
He added: “Yeah the piece looks okay, but maybe change ‘Porto star’ in the intro.
“It just looks a bit too much like ‘Porno star’, is all I’m saying.
“People might see it out of the corner of their eye and associate it with me.”