International break so very nearly over

Just a few more days now, hang in there.

Andros Townsend, poster boy of the international break
Andros Townsend, poster boy of the international break (Image: Allison Pasciuto)

The latest international break will be over in around 72 hours or so, so don’t do anything drastic, police have advised.

As Euro 2016 qualifiers were being wrapped up across the continent, many Europeans were left wondering if it would be more prudent to scratch their eyes out with rusty nails or with sullied tooth picks instead.

With the return of club football now just days away, police are urging fans to remain calm and and try to ward off any thoughts of ocular self-mutilation in the mean time.

They said: “Yes, we know, Andros Townsend.

“But it’ll all be over soon, we promise.

“Then you can stop being bored and revert to the anguish and frustration you customarily cherish.

“You’ll be purple in the face again in no time, so just try to sit tight and for crying out loud leave your eyes alone.”