“I’ll pay you $250k right now to stop saying I moved to PSG for money,” roars Neymar

Brazilian forward offers wheelbarrow full of cash up front.

Neymar joined PSG from Barcelona
NOBLE: Neymar (Image: Fernando Frazão/Agência Brasil)

Brazil forward Neymar is offering $250,000 to anyone promising to immediately stop saying he moved to Paris Saint-Germain for the money.

According to the player himself, a payment will be made in the form of a wheelbarrow full of cash to any person or persons who agree to stop casting fiscal aspersions over his departure from Barcelona.

The transfer has been seen as a statement of intent from Qatar, who recently bought three-quarters of London for an eye-watering eighty squillion petro-dollars.

Neymar told Football Burp: “It’s all there, you can count it.

“You just have to cease all insinuations that I joined PSG for money and you too can enjoy some of my vast personal fortune.

“Tell you what, I’ll make it $500,000 if you can point me in the direction of a half-decent accountant.”

He then slipped a twenty into our pocket and patted our buttock encouragingly.