People who could easily be watching football right now have been telling anyone who’ll listen just how much they miss football, sources have revealed.
The people, quite possibly including you, have spent the majority of the last week or so airing their views on the Women’s World Cup and Men’s U21 World Cup, with attitudes ranging from ‘openly dismissive’ to ‘outright hostile’.
Others still remained completely unaware that either of the aforementioned tournaments were even taking place, even after we told them.
However, an independent study has shown that neither women’s nor U21 football are any more tedious and infuriating than the men’s football that many profess to be yearning for – and in many cases they’re even less tedious and infuriating.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Steve, a Newcastle United fan from Newcastle, explained that nothing could ever be as exciting as watching his idols dip 0-1 at home to some newly promoted mob amidst an atmosphere so poisonous that even the caterers leave purple-faced.
He said: “I miss Premier League football so much – heck, I even miss the additional angst and recriminations provided by fantasy football.
“No joke, I’d watch ‘last two men’s World Cups’ England right now, struggling like hell against Algeria or Costa Rica.
“That’s how little I’m aware of all the football I could be watching right now.”