Roy Hodgson has invited his England squad round for a “bit of festive fun and frolics” in a thinly veiled attempt to win Euro 2016.
The veteran coach, owly, has promised lots of “Yuletide yummies” courtesy of his wife, Mrs Hodgson, including individualised mince pies bearing the players’ names and numbers.
He also warned his England squad to swat up on their knowledge of classic literature, as books are a permissible category in the Hodgson family’s traditional game of Christmas charades.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Hodgson asked his England squad quite openly to RSVP for the morale-boosting exercise as soon as possible, with 17:00 earmarked as a starting time.
He said: “It would be nice to have a bit of a light-hearted get-together as I firmly believe that the unifying aspects of it could translate to success on the pitch.
“I’ve had quite enough of us turning up to major tournaments and playing like we’ve never even met before, so a bit of eggnog and Monopoly would appear to be the only way forward.
“I know there’s a full Premier League programme on Boxing Day but I trust that the various clubs won’t be total arses about it.”
Mrs Hodgson was unavailable for comment.