Newly installed Aston Villa boss Rémi Garde has announced that Jack Grealish can “f*** right off, possibly sideways”.
The Frenchman, French, had allowed the promising midfielder to remain up north following the 4-0 defeat at Everton and was therefore disappointed to later see footage of him diving into a paddling pool full of Budweiser shouting “WOOO, SPRING BREAK!”
On what appeared to be an eventful night for Grealish, the highly rated youngster beat several recognised ‘jocks’ at beer pong and then “totally made out” with some sort of “prom queen”, claiming to reach the hitherto-unheard-of “seventeenth base”.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Garde remained philosophical.
He shrugged: “Grealish can f*** right off, possiblement – ‘ow you say? – de côté.
“For all he swaggers around the pitch with his slicked-back hair, un-tucked shirt, un-pulled-up stockings and fluorescent boots, he’s not actually done anything to merit making such un spectacle d’himself.
“He will train with the U21 for as long as I remain in charge, even if it takes all season.”
Grealish was unavailable for comment as he was busy readying an “epic” conga line.