Glitch in matrix revealed as Spurs and Man City run riot in Champions League

Reality as we know it subsumed by Football Manager session that got out of hand.

A Matrix-style corridor
MATRIXY: Corridor (Image: kwankwan)

Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester City tearing up the Champions League is evidence of a catastrophic glitch in the matrix, it has emerged.

Thumping wins over Real Madrid and Napoli respectively confirmed the erstwhile laughing stocks as Europe’s dominant forces, arousing suspicion of high-concept goings-on and whatnot.

According to experts, it is “extremely likely” that reality as we know it was at some point subsumed by a Football Manager session that got out of hand.

While the identity of the gamer is not yet known, it is believed to be only a matter of time before David Moyes is appointed manager of Nigeria.

One boffin said: “We haven’t seen Tonton Zola Moukoko win the Ballon d’Or, so it must have happened in the last few years.

“It’s only speculation at this stage, but it seems probable that someone got seven or eight seasons into a game of Football Manager during an electrical storm.

“And now we’re all living in a simulation where Spurs and Man City are footballing nonpareils, replete with forwards scoring at absurd rates.

“We’re still trying to work out what happened to Everton.”