Garry Monk admits he is troubled by the prospect of laughing his arse “clean off [his] body” should he guide Leeds to promotion while Swansea are relegated.
With his current side riding high in the Championship and his former club languishing in the lower reaches of the Premier League, Monk’s sacking as Swans boss is coming in for renewed scrutiny.
Should the two sides switch places come May, there are grave concerns for the safety of Monk’s backside.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Monk confessed to being a trifle confused by feelings of schadenfreude.
He said: “Of course I’m troubled by the possibility, because I still have a lot of affection for Swansea.
“In many ways they’ll always be my club. It’s where I made my name, after all.
“But at the end of the day I’m only human so there’s every chance my personal validation could erupt into fits of laughter that tear my buttocks clean off the top of my legs.
“I trust anyone who’s met Huw Jenkins will understand.”