Football is definitely still better than golf despite the prevalence within it of morons, it has been announced.

The game, beautiful, was forced to look on in quietly seething jealousy as the Ryder Cup golf and NFL at Wembley won admirers nationwide this weekend.

Even wonder goals from the likes of Graziano Pellè and Phil Jagielka could not deflect from the attention afforded to football’s rivals.

However, it has been confirmed that the XI v XI competitive sport is definitely still better than any game where everyone is wearing a baseball cap or crash helmet – even if it is full of idiots.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, football players, managers, pundits and fans alike prattled their inane and ill-informed gibberish until the cows came home.

They chorused: “At the end of the day we gone out there, two banks of four and given it one hundred and ten per cent to be fair.

“If you don’t take your chances at this level – er, ground level, I think – then you get punished because there are no easy games any more.

“It’s a funny old game to be fair, but it’s also a beautiful one – it’s not just thwacking a ball haphazardly with a stick, it’s thwacking a ball haphazardly with one of your legs.

“At the end of the day, I’ll take that over some massive bloke hugging a giant peanut.”