Fifa is set to come down like a ton of footballing bricks on international sides picking black players when playing against Serbia in Serbia, it is being worded.
The governing body, lovably roguish, have decided to take decisive action against “this blatant and deliberate provocation” in the wake of the latest flare-up in a match against England Under-21s.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Fifa badboy Bepp Splatter said he was “saddened” by Stuart Pearce’s decision to field so many black players against such racist opposition.
He said: “Now I’ve got to spend the whole week answering phone calls like this one.
“Well, that’s just grand. If only Mr Pearce had had the common decency to field only white players, I’d be in the tub right now with a good book.
“That’s my diamond-encrusted tub, and my very own book about how brilliant and right about everything I am. Damn and blast, Mr Pearce.”
He added: “I fine the FA four hundred billion Fifa dollars!”
Speaking unerringly as one, Serbian football supporters said: “I can’t believe that England would try and get away with something like that again, knowing full well what a bunch of insane troglodytes we are.
“Don’t they learn?”
At the time of going to press, Schlepp Platter has just released a statement saying that Sunderland left-back Danny Rose will be fined eighty squadrillion Fifa dollars.