David Moyes has named his three wishes, citing Marouane Fellaini, a big car to drive around in and a specific cup.
The Sunderland manager, Scottish, was sitting at a table vacantly twiddling his thumbs when he was exclusively approached by Football Burp.
When asked if he could have three wishes what they would be, Moyes remained philosophical.
He said: “Oh, no, I’m happy enough, really.”
Presented with Marouane Fellaini as something he might possibly desire, Moyes’s eyes lit up.
He replied: “Oh-ho, God, yeah! I’d love Marouane Fellaini. That would be brilliant!”
When asked what else would be on his wishlist, Moyes stopped panting and gazed a simple gaze.
He answered: “Oh, that’d be fine. Fellaini would be fine.”
Presented with a big car to drive around in as something else he might like, Moyes’s big blue eyes bulged with wonder.
He enthused: “Oh-ho, wow! That’d be fantastic! Driving around in a big car – that’d be brilliant!”
Football Burp then pressed Moyes for his third and final wish.
He responded: “Oh, no, that’d be fine. If I had a big car and Marouane Fellaini, that’d be grand.”
It was at this point that Football Burp picked up a nearby cup and asked Moyes if he’d like that.
He gushed: “Oh, God, yeah! I’d love that cup! If I had that cup and a big car and Marouane Fellaini, that’d be fantastic!”
It was then put to Moyes that he’d never had much in the way of imagination.
He concurred: “Aye, you’re right there.”
But at least he finally had a cup.