Fanciful ideas complete Watford takeover

Watford are set to appoint Gianfranco Zola to replace the sacked Sean Dyche
Dyche… Sees the funny side at least
Watford have been taken over by ideas above their station, it has been confirmed.

The ideas, fanciful, have acquired the Hertfordshire club from Laurence Bassini, who bought the Hornets 15 months ago when he fronted Watford FC Limited’s £440,000 takeover.

With former Chelsea player and West Ham United manager Gianfranco Zola set to take over from the freshly sacked Sean Dyche, the chimerical notions are confident of staving off ‘cautionary tale’ status amongst fans of rival clubs being linked with an overseas takeover in the future.

They whispered in the wind: “We love Zola. The things he could do with a football, well, he was a maestro, wasn’t he?

“His back-heeled volley against Norwich City summed him up – perfect awareness, anticipation, technique and execution. He really was one of the finest footballers ever to grace the Premier League, not to mention Serie A.

“Now all he has to do is show all the Watford players how to do that and we can look forward to a team of footballing nonpareils swatting aside all before them in a manner even the Spanish will envy.

“People say, ‘What about Gianluca Vialli? He was a big-name player for Chelsea and Italy – a team mate of Zola’s even – and he was an unmitigated disaster for the club.’

“To which we say: shaddap you proverbial face.”

They added: “It was not easy letting go of Louis CK. We are big fans of his stand-up.”

A choked sounding Dyche said: “This is how I always speak.”