Facebook introduce ‘dislike’ button for Wayne Rooney testimonial

Jolly japes and lighthearted bants fail to materialise in tepid encounter.

Thumbs down for last night's Wayne Rooney testimonial
DOWN: Thumbs (Image: Lsanabria)

Facebook hurriedly introduced a ‘dislike’ button for viewers to express their intense boredom during last night’s Wayne Rooney testimonial.

The social media behemoth streamed Man Utd’s goalless draw with Everton in its entirety, presumably expecting jolly japes and lighthearted bants.

When the opening exchanges indicated something altogether more tepid in the offing, Facebook supremo Mark Zuckerberg knew he had to act quickly.

He told Football Burp: “The growing clamour to denounce the Wayne Rooney testimonial was a new challenge for me.

“Here at Facebook we pride ourselves on [twenty minutes of corporate jargon], so I knew we had to adapt to the rapidly changing needs of our client base.

“With the modern tendency to spend hours boring oneself to tears on social media, it’s only right that there should be an outlet for this disapproval.

“Something direct, something that eschews the convoluted brutality of actually constructing sentences. The equivalent of a car horn.

“We toyed with the idea of a ‘zzz’ button, then with a gif of someone sleeping at their desk, but these weren’t deliverable solutions.

“So we just turned the ‘like’ button upside down and let people get on with clicking frantically every time Memphis Depay touched the ball.

“Marouane Fellaini trended so hard that he materialised in front of me like some high-tech Candyman.”