Martin Jol is said to be grumbling gruffly like a big sulky bear in anticipation of his displacement as Fulham manager by Rene Meulensteen.

The Dutchman, either, is bracing himself for an awkward few months or so having to work alongside the other in somehow dragging the beleaguered Cottagers to safety.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Jol said he was not speaking – exclusively or otherwise – to Meulensteen, and that Fulham need his “exshpertishe”.

He frowned and gruffly grumbled: “Harrumph.

“Rene shaysh he ish not here to take my job but I don’t think I trusht him.

“He’sh been at Mancheshter United, lesht we forget, so he’sh an ambishoush man.

“If you ashk me, it’sh all that bloody Berbatov’sh fault. I’m an exshpert, me.

“If you are in the bottom, you have to have an exshpert to keep teamsh up and I don’t think there are a lot of exshperts out there.”

“Fulham need me. Like the deshert needsh the rain.”

He added: “I shaid ‘rain’, not ‘Rene’.

“Don’t be fasheshious.”

We weren’t laughing, we promise.

I mean, we were a bit, but not at Jol’s accent, which obviously isn’t funny as you’d have to be really childish to find that funny and base a whole article on it.

If you can call it an article. Babble, more like.

Not Ryan Babel. Although he is also Dutch.

Yes folks, it’s international break!