José Mourinho doesn’t think, we can exclusively reveal.

The Chelsea boss, thoughtless, took time out from cognitive oblivion to outline exclusively to Football Burp just how non-existent his introspection has become.

He said: “There’s literally nothing going on up there. Zilch, nada. It’s a vacuum.

“Say you asked me about John Terry’s red card against West Brom, right? Well, you wouldn’t get much of a response out of me ’cause I’d be utterly void of contemplation.

“My cerebral functions would be in a state of total nihility. Nullity? Nihility? Whichever the right word for this is.

“I know one of them’s a legal term but I can’t remember which one it is because I don’t think, you see.”

No one thoughtful was available for comment at the time of going to press.