Football fans are stupid, we can exclusively reveal.
The supporters, idiotic, were this morning out in force to denigrate beleaguered Manchester United manager David Moyes for overseeing yesterday’s 3-0 defeat at home to Liverpool.
According to sources, however, the wags failed to take into account that United are hardly unique in having had their backsides handed to them by Brendan Rodgers’s rampant Reds.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Simon, an intelligent football fan from Lincoln, chose to draw attention to Liverpool’s demolition jobs on Tottenham Hotspur (5-0), Everton (4-0) and Arsenal (5-1) in recent months.
He said: “If anything, United did well to keep it down to three, only one of which was from open play anyway.
“But no, it’s all David Moyes’s fault, he is a bumbling buffoon who can’t butter his toast without starting forest fires, and all that kind of thing.
“Honestly, it’s not easy being an intelligent football fan – if anything, it’s more of a curse than a blessing.
“You have to be able to not just remember things that happened, but also factor them into your own analysis of an individual performance or event.
“That’s right, your OWN analysis – not just someone else’s ill-thought-out opinion masquerading as your own, prejudicing everything you choose to see in every game you ever lay your stupid eyes on.
“Sometimes I’d just like to be able to crawl into bed and go to sleep for the rest of my life.”
Brian, the other intelligent football fan, was unavailable for comment as he was busy explaining to an hysterical United fan that he could free his arm from the vending machine if he just let go of the can already.