Every ****er and his dog signs for Norwich City

Norwich City have completed the purchase of every ****er and his dog for a club record fee of "****loads".

Man and dog
This ****er and his dog will provide valuable cover at left-back

Norwich City have completed the purchase of every ****er and his dog for a club record fee of “****loads”.

The Canaries, literally flying, not literally of course, will be hoping that this latest capture gives them impetus to build on back-to-back 11th place Premier League finishes under Paul Lambert and then Chris Hughton.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, everyone who played for Norwich City between 1992 and 1994 agreed with our assertion in the above paragraph, pointing out that signing players such as Ricky van Wolfswinkel and every ****er and his dog indicates an ambition to do better than they had previously done.

They chorused: “Well, obviously they’re looking to improve, because they wouldn’t be signing every ****er and his dog if they were actively looking to get worse.

“If they’d just signed the dogs then you could question their motivation, but in also signing every attendant ****er you get the impression they mean business.

“Speaking as former Norwich City players, we are both delighted and thrilled.”

Jeremy Goss said: “I was speaking to Grant Holt the other week and he said he was hoping to score more goals this season.

“I took that to mean that Grant Holt will definitely score more goals this season, which is good – what I didn’t realise is that he meant he’d score them for Wigan Athletic.

“Seeing him then go on to sign for Wigan was a concern – you’d have to question the lad’s commitment there.”

Ian Culverhouse said: “Is this the best you can do?

“The new season really can’t come soon enough.”

Every ****er and his dog were not available for comment as they were busy watching the cricket.