Everton manager Ronald Koeman has announced plans to build a wall around top scorer Romelu Lukaku in order to keep him in place and help him improve his first touch.
Belgian striker Lukaku has not been shy about making overtures towards Champions League clubs, but the Toffees can ill afford to lose their primary source of goals.
As such, Koeman wants to use Farhad Moshiri’s millions to erect a wall around Lukaku, serving the dual purpose of preventing him from leaving and giving him something with which to practise his control.
Koeman said: “It’s quite ingenious, if I may say so myself.
“Romelu’s a big guy but he’s not the type of player who will run through brick walls for you, so a brick wall is the best thing to surround him.
“We’ll lob a football in there too so he can boot it against the wall and try to trap it cleanly when it cannons back at him.
“If anyone offers £70m for him we’ll bite their hands off, but we’re concerned that any potential buyers might watch him play a full ninety minutes and discover his first touch to be quite possibly the most erratic thing known to man.
“F*** knows what we’re going to do with Barkley, though.”