England beat San Marino 8-0, no-one gives a flying one

England fans
England fans… Pride (Image: Jos van Zetten)

England recorded their largest victory margin for 25 years by beating San Marino 8-0 in Friday evening’s World Cup qualifier – but no-one gives a flying one.

The one, airborne, simply could not be given by anyone anywhere, who if anything found the sight of England’s brave Lions continually waltzing through a defence comprised of butchers and primary school teachers just a little unedifying.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, no-one said anything.

Not one single person said: “We’re on the march with Roy ‘Psycho’ Hodgson’s army! The feet of the world shall tremble in our wake!

“Take that, San Marino, you enclaved microstate! Your serene republic is no match for our battalion of footballing nonpareils, those whose erstwhile compatriots invented the game you so badly suck at!

“Go forth and multiply, San Marino! Rule Britannia! Britannia rules the waves!

“8-0, mother****ers!”

In other news, there is no other news – but there was a spate of tweets to savour as mementos of England’s momentous win…

Calling your missus ‘San Marino’ – as she kicks of every 10 minutes!!

— Mark Robinson (@robboma3) March 23, 2013

Fact: every young San Marino male has to spend two years in the football team. It’s a form of national service.

— Jonathan Liew (@jonathanliew) March 22, 2013

I think Scotland should play San Marino , that would be a decent game!

— Robbie Savage (@RobbieSavage8) March 22, 2013

Maybe get San Marino to play Scotland? Could be a close game that!!

— David cotterill (@cotterill_david) March 22, 2013

Observation from one colleague last night: “I think this could be the worst San Marino team I’ve seen.”

— Phil McNulty (@philmcnulty) March 23, 2013

When does an 8-0 win become sadistic? Some thoughts on the strong beating up the weak, from San Marino telegraph.co.uk/sport/football…

— Paul Hayward (@_PaulHayward) March 23, 2013

Ha ha – San Marino’s ground full of Porky lookalikes tonight. Hasn’t anybody told them that plastic surgery’s getting cheaper ha ha

— Mike Parry (@mikeparry8) March 22, 2013

FIFA levels:LegendaryWorld ClassProfessionalSemi-ProAmateurBeginnerNo opponentSan Marino

— Football Jokes (@Footy_Jokes) March 23, 2013