Eminent lunatic Paolo Di Canio has quit Swindon Town after discovering that he was not in fact managing Sweden.
The self-proclaimed fascist, Italian, was informed of his mistake recently while he was staking his claim to be the next Pope, and he handed in his resignation this morning while singing “Nessun Dorma” at full pelt and crying like a baby.
News of the Nobel Peace Prize-winning ball-catcher’s resignation was handled instantaneously by football writers across the country, all of whom have had a “Di Canio quits Swindon” article ready to go for some time now – but no-one could possibly have foreseen the bizarre circumstances of this thing what gone done happened.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Di Canio admitted that it had struck him as a bit odd that the qualifying groups contained so many teams, and that nations such as Colchester and Leyton Orient should be so nearby, and that no-one spoke Swedish.
He raved: “They say, ‘Paolo, because you resign you can not now with this league.’
“I say, ‘No, I will win this league anyway!’ Come on my players! They know that I, Paolo Di Canio, will still be there in the spirit, telling them all he loves them while slapping them hard in the face because they actually disgust me.
“They can take Matt Ritchie away, and I, Paolo Di Canio, can take me away – I will win this league anyway.”
The Twitter community was awash with quotes…
Can’t believe Di Canio has left Swindon, doing a decent job and always had a great interview in his locker #Bonkers
— Darren Huckerby (@hucks6dh6) February 18, 2013
Okay, not quite awash, but Huckerby did once make an appearance for the sadly missed England B team. Wonder what those crazy cats are up to now.
What are those crazy cats up to now? Have your say in the comments section below…