David Moyes has opened up for the first time about his long-term addiction to Manchester United cast-offs.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, the newly installed Sunderland boss was brutally candid about his latest relapse.
The Scotsman was this week found hiding behind some bins in possession of Paddy McNair and Donald Love.
But he now believes he is ready to face his demons – or his “Red Devils”, as he calls them – head-on.
He said: “It all starts with a Phil Neville, and before you know it you’re making him captain.
“Then you move on to Tim Howard, Louis Saha – you’re never satisfied, always seeking your next hit.
“The giddy thrill of basking in the reflection of all their medals, it’s something that’s hard to describe.
“But by the time I signed Darron Gibson I knew I had a real problem.”
He continued, sobbing: “A few years ago I had a period of about eight or nine months that’s totally blank to me now.
“All I remember is suddenly waking up to find I’d become a Man Utd cast-off myself. That was a real low.
“I thought I’d put it all behind me after my year in Spain. There was sun, sea and even Antoine Griezmann for a while.
“What I wasn’t prepared for was coming back home and finding myself face-to-face with John O’Shea.
“A switch flicked inside me. Suddenly it was like I’d never been away. I needed a fix.
“So I lashed £6m on Paddy McNair and Donald Love. And now here I am, talking to you.
“It’s a long road to recovery, but I’m positive as long as I can resist Marouane Fellaini.”