Crushing disappointment has moved quickly in the wake of Wayne Rooney’s retirement to reassure fans that it will be staying with England.
The feeling, born in 1970, has become a staple for generations of England fans with its trademark lost penalty shootouts and timid exits from major tournaments.
Despite its advancing years it proved it could still operate at the highest level when masterminding England’s defeat to Iceland at Euro 2016.
Its agent said today: “Everyone can relax. There will be more crushing disappointment to come yet. It’s not done with you, not by a long chalk.
You’ve not lost in a penalty shootout for years and the emergence of players like Rashford, Sturridge and Sterling has raised the hopes of some of the younger fans.
“My client thrives in the pressure cooker of raised expectations. Bring it on.”
Consistent underperformance, missing midfield and dodgy goalkeeping are also believed to be staying with the squad.