A botched Cristiano Ronaldo statue has come to life and is currently terrorising downtown Madeira, we can confirm.
The bungled effigy caused such a stir on social media that it became animated following an electrical storm, or whatever happens in the movies.
It is now stomping around the Portuguese archipelago roaring blood-curdlingly and destroying everyone and everything in its path.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, a spokesperson for the Cristiano Ronaldo International Airport admitted this was “the last thing we wanted to happen”.
They said: “This is the last thing we wanted to happen, but then you’ve already quoted me on that.
“It’s all still going down so no one’s really quite sure what to make of it yet or why it’s happened – a bit like Brexit in your country.
“I guess because the Ronaldo statue just looked so weird and evil, it was always in the back of our minds that it could come to life and wreak terror.
“As you can hear from all the roaring, screaming and smashing, our worst fears have come to fruition.
“We’ve commissioned someone to make a really heroic-looking Lionel Messi statue, but these things take time.”