Chelsea fans have taken over the Paris Métro in what is already being described as “a coup d’étwats”, it has emerged.

The rapid transit system, number and colour coded, began operation in 1900 and was estimated to carry a ridership of some 4.21 million people every day – that is, of course, until now.

Last night’s 1-1 Champions League draw between Paris Saint-Germain and Chelsea was followed by ugly scenes in which travelling English supporters prevented a black male from boarding a train because he wasn’t Didier Drogba.

As the heady cocktail of strong continental lager and a bullish sense of entitlement manifested itself further, more and more lines fell into “les mains anglaises” – English hands.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, a group of Chelsea fans riding a Ligne 8 train to Pointe du Lac explained that the “endgame” had been as yet undecided.

They chorused: “It’s true, we don’t really know where we’re going with all this, but we’re hoping we’ll be allowed to change at Concorde so we can go see the Arc de Triomphe.

“Just because we’re hooligans, doesn’t mean we’re impervious to the charms of Napoleonic monuments.”