Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers last night dropped virtually his entire first XI against Real Madrid in what we can exclusively reveal to have been a disastrous admin error.
According to a source, the Reds boss, aquatic, had on his submitted team sheet written “okay” in a margin headed by an instruction not to write in it.
The maximum penalty for this infraction is the sudden ineligibility of the entire first XI, but Rodgers managed to wrangle Simon Mignolet after a quick sympathy vote.
As it turned out, the makeshift line-up managed to hold out against wave after wave of Cristiano Ronaldo disappointment, even looking brighter going forward than they have in some weeks.
Despite going down 1-0, the understrength Liverpool side gave a good account of themselves, rose to the occasion and all sorts of Andy Townsend approved clichés.
Gesturing exclusively to Football Burp, Brendan Rodgers thrust his arms up and outwards as if inviting adulation.
He roared: “I wouldn’t say I dropped a bollock [with the team sheet]. I wouldn’t say I dropped a clanger either.
“I had dropped the whole team, admittedly, but it seemed to work out weirdly well.
“I might try it again on Saturday.”