Owen Coyle’s sacking from Bolton Wanderers has been greeted with a nonchalant shrug by thousands of football fans around the country who wanted him to manage their own team.
The supporters, stupid, had been adamant that getting rid of their club’s perfectly reasonably performing manager and replacing him with Coyle would be conducive to a Champions League challenge off the back of primo togger reminiscent of Brazil 1970, the likes of which the current manager could only dream about given his propensity for “dour, negative tactics and unwillingness to throw all the youngsters in at every available opportunity”.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, a man who likes football but has absolutely no idea how it works explained how Coyle’s removal from the Reebok Stadium hot seat was just a temporary blip in the making of a managerial nonpareil.
He said: “No, I don’t feel stupid. Why should I? I still think Coyle would make a wonderful manager for our club.
“I’ve had enough of the current manager’s propensity for defensive, overly cautious tactics and unwillingness to make substitutions until the last ten minutes. Coyle would blood the youngsters, all of whom are amazing I reckon, and we’d swat teams aside with wave after wave of attack.
“We all saw Bolton beating Newcastle 5-1 in November 2010 to temporarily go 4th in the Premier League, and even though it didn’t quite work out for him after that I’m the kind of belligerent moron who’ll stick to my guns in the face of all manner of facts, because that’s all part of the superiority complex I ironically harbour.
“Is that irony? Even if it’s not, I say it is.”
He added: “I still reckon that Aidy Boothroyd could do a job, you know.”