Bob Bradley all set to become first American in Wales

Arrival of new Swansea boss brings successful end to US attempts at placing a man on Welsh terrain.

Bob Bradley is the new manager of Swansea City
BOLDLY GOING: Bradley (Image: Dohar Stadium Plus Qatar)

Bob Bradley will be the first ever American to go to Wales when he takes the reins at Swansea City, according to all known record.

The former US men’s national team coach has been appointed as a swift successor to the sacked Francesco Guidolin, who got all losey and just could’t stop.

His arrival ends years of American attempts to put a man on Wales, their last attempt ending in tragedy when Blink 182 froze to death on their way to Cardiff’s Motorpoint Arena.

It also signals the failure of various wacky Russian schemes to beat America to it, including Diniyar Bilyaletdinov getting linked with Wrexham on Twitter.

Wales found itself at the centre of controversy when it emerged that the Princess of Wales had never actually set foot in Wales.

Further acrimony surrounded the little-reported Welsh Independence vote, unpopularly referred to as ‘Welxit’, which ultimately decided in favour of Wales literally sawing itself off from Britain and sailing the high seas as a rogue pirate state.

But Wales bounced back in stunning fashion with this summer’s run to the semi-finals of Euro 2016, a feat matched by only three other teams.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, a spokesperson for the Welsh Independence Party (WIP) remained non-committal on when they planned to trigger Article Saw Ourselves Off and Roam the Seas.

The source said: “Welxit means Welxit.

“In fact, we’d go even further: “Welxit means Welxit” means ‘Welxit means ‘Welxit’.

“Obviously we’ll stay put for a while because it’s not every day you have an American staying in your town.

“I think he’ll do well at Swansea, but what am I, even remotely qualified to speculate?

“I thought Sigurdsson was that band that sounds like whales.”

He added: “That’s whales, not Wales, just to clear that up.”