“Bleeeeuuuuuuurrrrrrggggghhh!” declares defiant Walcott

Theo Walcott
Walcott… Vommed all in Sturridge’s face (Img: Ronnie Macdonald)
Arsenal forward Theo Walcott has defiantly hit back at his doubters, declaring, “Bleeeeeeuuuuuurrrrrrgggggghhhh.”

Walcott, a Pisces, had been criticised for turning up to England’s training camp two hours late, projectile vomiting into Daniel Sturridge’s face and collapsing in a heap.

However, the former Southampton speed merchant seemed to be telling Football Burp that he thrives on such pressure and intends to shove a few words down certain people’s mouths.

He said: “Bleeeeeeeccccchhhhhh. *Spit* *Spit*

“Wur…wuuuurrrrr…baaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrfffff! *Cough* *Spit*


England boss Roy ‘Psycho’ Hodgson confirmed that Chelsea forward Sturridge had been placed in quarantine to prevent him from kissing the other players or licking their food.

He said: “We’ve even stuck him in a little cage, it’s well funny.”

Sturridge was unavailable for comment.