Saido Berahino has opened up about his move to Stoke, claiming his drink was spiked in a club and the next thing he knew he was in front of cameras holding up a Potters shirt.
The wayward striker’s revelations have led to other high-profile Stoke signings from recent years coming forward with similar tales of their own.
Bojan Krkić, currently on loan at Mainz 05, has recalled being handed a “suspiciously fizzy sangria” in Barcelona before coming to 48 hours later on Glenn Whelan’s couch.
And Xherdan Shaqiri insists he has CCTV evidence he was followed for a week and eventually chloroformed by someone appearing to be Phil Bardsley.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Berahino announced in hushed, conspiratorial tones that we were “through the looking glass”.
He said: “See? I couldn’t possibly have been getting off my nut on purpose.
“We’ve blown this thing wide open and Stoke have a lot to answer for.
“Even Joe Allen reckons he’s got a hazy recollection of being wheelbarrowed along the M6.”