David Beckham has confirmed that his choice of Miami as the place to build a soccer franchise was based entirely on his love of Will Smith’s erstwhile musical output.
Beckham, 53, was listening to Big Willie Style when he conceived Brooklyn, and Romeo, and that new kid on the scene.
Harpo or something.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Beckham, 54, looked out of an aeroplane window at the crystalline beach below.
He said: “Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
“Miami, uh, uh. Southbeach, bringin’ the heat, uh. Haha, can y’all feel that? Can y’all feel that?
“Jig it out, uh.”
Beckham then stepped out of the plane onto a rolled-out red carpet.
He continued: “Here I am in the place where I came to let go, when I wasn’t on loan at the San Siro.
“Every day like a derby day, everyone play footy all day, for outrageous pay.
“Okay.”
Now he’s at this house party, checking himself out in a lengthways mirror.
“So we sip a little Gatorade, practise our skills. Me and Landon in the players lounge. prank-calling Phil…
“…and Gary. They vexed! What will we do next? Every time the ladies pass, they be like, ‘Hi, Becks!’
“Can y’all feel me, all ages and races? Real sweet faces.
“Every different nation: Spanish, Haitian, Indian, Jamaican. Black (sic), White (sic), Cuban, and Asian (sic).
“I only came for a few years of playin’, but every time I come I always wind up stayin’.
“This the type of town I could start a new team in: Miami, the city that keeps the revenue streamin’.”
CHORUS:
Footy in the city of Horatio Caine
He looks like Alex McLeish, only less mundane
Welcome to Miami!
Bienvenidos a Miami!
Bouncin’ in the club that is yet to be built
Sir Alex can stick it right up his kilt
I’m going to Miami!
Welcome to Miami!
Beckham added: “Am I b*ll*cks doing the whole thing.”