Baggies star Ridgewell under fire for calling mate a “spiv”

Darren, a spiv
Darren… He really is a spiv, though
West Bromwich Albion defender Liam Ridgewell has been fiercely criticised for calling his mate Darren a “spiv”, according to a number of reports.

Ridgewell, a Cancer, astrologically as opposed to ‘…on society’, has been accused of disrespecting Baggies supporters far less remunerated than himself on account of the fact that Darren sits in the Smethwick End and works at a factory that manufactures sticky labels.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, an angry nutter spoke of his hurt that Ridgewell should lambast Darren in such a manner given the sudden and unspoken elevation of Darren into a convenient metaphor for the oppression of the common man.

He said: “By calling Darren a ‘spiv’, Liam Ridgewell might just as well have called Steve a ‘spiv’, or Gary a ‘spiv’.

“He’ll call you a ‘spiv’ next. Mark my words, he’s coming for you, and so help me he’ll call you a ‘spiv’.”

Ridgewell could not be reached for comment as he was too busy winding up a distant cousin on Facebook.

He said: “I’ve just told her that Great Aunt Margaret died, even though she hasn’t. It’s priceless.”

Hmm, turns out he could be reached for comment after all.