Astronomers may have found alien Premier League

"It's probably a bit like the Indian league but with way more cool flashing lights and machines and that," they say.

Might be an alien Premier League in here
Some cool space s**t

A star identified by the Kepler Space Telescope may harbour structures which could point to an advanced alien Premier League, it is being reported.

The large cluster of objects in space, remarkable, is said to resemble something you would “expect an alien top flight football division to look like”.

Jason Wright, an astronomer from Penn State University, is set to publish a report on the “bizarre” star system, suggesting the objects could be a “swarm of megastadia that represent home grounds for a fleet of extraterrestrial footballing nonpareils”.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, he said: “Alien football leagues should always be the very last hypothesis you consider, but this bears all the hallmarks.

“We pointed a radio dish at the star and it came back with the sounds of unearthly ‘ker-CHING!’ noises, alien pockets being emptied and unfathomably large alien cheques being written.

“There’s also a strange language that, once decoded, consisted mainly of utterances of ‘to be fair’, ‘at the end of the day’ and even ‘do I not like that’.

“As of yet we haven’t ruled out the possibility that footballers from our planet, many of whom could have been long since retired, have been attracted out there for one final, considerable pay day.

“So it’s probably a bit like the Indian Premier League but with way more cool flashing lights and machines and that.”

Stay tuned for further developments.