It’s the Sam Allardyce tippy-tappy roast that’s got everybody jiving, and Football Burp understands that it’s just gone viral.
The tactical outlook, old school, had just enjoyed an afternoon’s worth of supreme vindication as the West Ham United manager saw his side romp to a 3-0 victory over Steve Bruce’s beleaguered Hull City.
And Big Sam took full advantage of the temporary spotlight by decrying what appeared to be tiki-taka in what is already being described as an astonishing broadside.
This very public denouncement of passing-oriented game plans was bundled onto YouTube and has at the time of going to press just achieved ‘viral’ status, a new sort of rating that signifies for online videos what gold and platinum records used to signify for albums.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Allardyce showed us a tactics board bearing only the names of Downing and Carroll, with a Football Manager style arrow pointing from the former to the latter.
He roared: “Sometimes this tippy-tappy stuff that some of my colleagues insist upon, well, it’s just a load of f***ing s**tburgers in my opinion.
“Get the ball in the box as quickly as you can to one of the seven or eight beanpole strikers you should have accumulated if you’ve any sense, and let the good times roll.
“Next week, I’ll be showing you how to open a tin of tuna armed with nothing but a brick.”
The Allardyce Tippy-Tappy Smackdown is available for hire as a band name.