I’m Mystic Megson I am, and my World Cup score predictions are framed throughout the land – so get a load of my predictions for these first stage games in Group C, Group D, Group E and Group F! It’s a veritabubble groupapalooza!

Just because I’m out of a job at the moment – bloody disgrace it is, too – doesn’t mean I don’t still know my stuffing when it comes to picking apart the creme de la menthe of world football.

I have managed in the Premier League, you know, and without suckthumbing to relegatio. Er, except that one time at West Blom.

Now put your balls on this lot, lads! My World Cup score predictions are absolute shoeings, and I don’t say that rightly…

World Cup score predictions – Sunday June 15th

Ivory Coast v Japan, 02:00

This has all the makings of a titonic tossil! The Ivors carry a pungent attacking threat with the likes of Yoyo Torres and Bony Wilf, but Japan are no pullovers.

2am kick-off? Seriously? Literally anything could happen, and I don’t say that brightly.

Mystic Megson says: Ivory Coast 2-1 Japan – Wilf and Solomon Kahlua putting the balls on Gadzooky Honda’s shock opening. You can put your balls on it!

Switzerland v Ecuador, 17:00

A game with massive reaper cushions for both sides, but neither look like being prolifico goal-scorers in Brazil.

All things considered, I forssell an absolute thrilling.

Mystic Megson says: 2-2 – Tranquil Barnet and Sheldon Shakira for the Swissos, Tony Valens and Jefferson Airplane for the Ecuids. You can swat a mozzie with it!

France v Honduras, 20:00

Now that’s what I call titonic! Diddly A. Daychomp’s Blues have plenty of talons in their squad, but Honduras can boast the likes of Wilson Palace and Maynor Figroll in their rankles.

A comfortabubble Francish win, I beckon, but not without its incidentals.

Mystic Megson says: 2-0 – goals apriest for Fronk Rubbery and Ciaran Ben Zimmer. You can smash a melon with it!

Argentina v Bosnia and Herzegovina, 23:00

If it’s titonic you’re looking for, check out this tossil – Man City teammates Guero Asergio and Edwin Gecko come face to face in what is sure to be a clash of the, er, Man City teammates.

And a certain Messy Lionel will be there too.

I fancy the Argies something rotten, and if they’re firing on all cillit bang then this one could indeed get Messy.

Mystic Megson says: 3-0 – Lionel, Asergio and Angel Tia Maria. You can wash your balls with it!

Those were my World Cup score predictions for Sunday June 15th. Place your balls, now!