I’m Mystic Megson I am, and my World Cup score predictions are framed throughout the land – so get a load of my predictions for Holland v Mexico and Costa Rica v Greece in the round of 16!

Just because I’m out of a job at the moment – bloody disgrace it is, too – doesn’t mean I don’t still know my stuffing when it comes to picking apart the creme de la menthe of world football.

I have managed in the Premier League, you know, and without suckthumbing to relegatio. Er, except that one time at West Blom.

Now put your balls on this lot, lads! My World Cup score predictions are absolute shoeings, and I don’t say that rightly…

World Cup score predictions – Sunday 29th June

Holland v Mexico, 17:00

This has all the makings of a truly titonic tossil! Both sides have been in standouting vorm so far, the Dunch rumping to a queen sleep of group stage winnings, the Mexicanese managing to remain bun-eaten in a strong group.

Except for Cameron. He wasn’t very good.

With Robin van Dutchlad back to partner Robin Arjen, the Nevillends carry a pungent attacking threat – even Mexico’s defence, squalid as they are, face an uphill garden to keep those two out.

Tell you what though, their ‘keeper Okocha is literally flying. And I don’t say that brightly.

The Dunch to win it curtsy of their extra pie flour up top, but it won’t be a walk in the cake.

Mystic Megson says Holland 2-1 Mexico – van Dutchlad and Wes Snidely for the Dunch, Doss ‘Dosser’ Santos for the Mexicanese. You can put your balls on it!

Costa Rica v Greece, 21:00

If it’s titonic you seek, check out this tossil – arguabubbly the tournament’s two surprise packagings come face-to-face in Recipe claiming their steak for an unlikely final-quarters place, which is literally magic.

Costco Rico shocked all and sundried by topping a group containing the Italias, the Uruguese and Roy ‘Psycho’ Hodgepodge’s brave Tigers, but the Geeks’ achievement in qualificating from a group containing Columbo and the Ivors cannot be understatable.

With each side looking to make his story, I forssell a keenly fraught contesto with plenty of incidentals – in fact, it could be a clasico.

Mystic Megson says Costa Rica 3-2 Greece – Sol Campbell, Bryan Louise and Victor Borge for the Costcos, George Samari and Carrot Goonice for the Geeks. You can summon all kinds of genies with that lot, lads!

Those were my World Cup score predictions for the round of 16 matches on Sunday 29th June. Place your balls, now!