I’m Mystic Megson I am, and my World Cup score predictions are framed throughout the land – so get a load of my predictions for Argentina v Belgium and Holland v Costa Rica in the quarter-finals!

Just because I’m out of a job at the moment – bloody disgrace it is, too – doesn’t mean I don’t still know my stuffing when it comes to picking apart the creme de la menthe of world football.

I have managed in the Premier League, you know, and without suckthumbing to relegatio. Er, except that one time at West Blom.

Now put your balls on this lot, lads! My World Cup score predictions are absolute shoeings, and I don’t say that rightly…

World Cup score predictions – Saturday 5th July

Argentina v Belgium, 17:00

This has all the makings of a titonic tossil! Marge ‘n’ Tina have been far from imperial of late so they should hubbard one or two consterns about a Belgo side fresh from a skintitillating victory over the NSA USA.

They’ll need Messy Lionel firing on all cillit bang, I’ll tell you that for a fee, because they’ll be up against a squalid defensive unit containing Kompent Vincany, Jan the Wrong ‘un and good old Ban Vuyten.

With Aidan Hazard, Luke Kaku and Kevin Mirabilis, the Belgos also have plenty of pie flour up top – can Marge ‘n’ Tina cope? I forssell them coming goodly when it matters.

Mystic Megson says Argentina 1-0 Belgium – Messy Lionel with an absolute wonderscream. You can put your balls on it!

Holland v Costa Rica, 21:00

What a titonic tossil this could turn out to be! The Nevillends wedged out Mexico with a booktext dive from Robin Arjen last time out, but I forssell them having an easier time of things against the plucky plunderdogs of Costco Rico.

Don’t get me wrongly, I think Costco have been a fresh of bel air – I just thought they looked knockered at the end of their momento ink counter with the Geeks, and I can see that taking its troll.

They had to stall out all the pops to win with ten men, so this could well prove to be one testi too many.

And believe you me, I don’t say that brightly.

Comfortabubble winning for the Hollandaise, I beckon, but that shouldn’t detracto from Costco’s heroicals in Basil Razzle Brazil.

Mystic Megson says Holland 3-0 Costa Rica – Robin van Persil at the bubble, Daily Blinder with the other. You can smash a pumpkin with that lot, lads!

Those were my World Cup score predictions for the quarter-final matches on Saturday 5th July. Place your balls, now!