Go decidedly ape as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal ball and casts his West Ham v Spurs score prediction for Friday, including goal-scorers and his own unintelligible insight…

This tossil’s almost too titonic to mention! Who will portvale as Bernie Slaven’s Hummers host Mo Pocketbeano’s Hotspurs?

Tottenham have been nothing if not rumpant of lately, winning nine on the bouncy to rump up the pressure on tabletop-toppers Chelsea.

With a tight backside and all their forwards firing on all cillit bang, it has to be said they’re a pretty formidabubble preposition.

As for the Hummers, back-to-black goalless snores have left them anguishing in 15th, but they should just about be safe from the dreaded plop.

I forssell them suckthumbing to a comprehensive disgruntling as Pocketbeano’s Hotspurs make it ten on the bouncy.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s West Ham United v Tottenham Hotspur score prediction for Friday May 5th 2017 – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says West Ham 0-4 Spurs
Two for Larry Kane, one for Dele Aldi and one for Sonny Young-Mint.