Stare with wide-eyed incredulity as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal ball and casts his West Ham v Man Utd score prediction for Monday, including goal-scorers and his own mixed-up musings…

This one has all the ingredients of a titonic tossil! Who will portvale as Bernie Slaven’s Hummers host Josie Mourinho’s Dead Revels?

West Ham’s recent backbounce hit the bluffers with a 1-0 defeat at Leicester last time out, while United backbounced themselves against Middlesbrough to make it five wins on the bouncy.

Another win here and they’ll be thinking of claiming a serious steak for the tabletop title – and I have to say, I forssell them getting it.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s West Ham United v Manchester United score prediction for Monday January 2nd 2017 – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says West Ham 1-2 Man Utd
Andy Corrall for the homos, Henrikh McAteerian and Zoltan Ibramovic for the awayos.