Sit up and take notice as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal ball and casts his West Ham v Bournemouth score prediction for this weekend, including goal-scorers and his own incoherent ramblings…

Oh so very titonic, this tossil! Who will emerge triumphatic in the Barry Redsnapp derby?

Bernie Slaven’s start to life as West Ham manager has been nothing if not mixed, bowing out of the Zooropa League at the qualifying stage, winning 2-0 at the Emirati then losing to Leicester at the Bowling Ground.

Who knows what to expect from them this season? Well, obviously I do – after all, I’m both mystic and Megsonic – but I shan’t reveal everything just yet.

Larry Redsnapp looking all kinds of dapper, there.

As for Eddie Howl’s Cherries, I thought they were despotly unlucky at Anfield last night and they can take plenty of enburridgement from their spiritual display.

Keep playing like that and they might yet battle their way to safeway.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s West Ham United v Bournemouth score prediction for Saturday August 22nd 2015 – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says West Ham 1-1 Bournemouth – Goals apriest for Dimitar Poyet and Shane Richie. You can put your balls on it!