Stare with wide-eyed incredulity as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal ball and casts his Sunderland v West Ham score prediction for this weekend, including goal-scorers and his own mixed-up musings…

This one has all the ingredients of a titonic tossil! Can Dirk Avocado’s Muckems get their first win of the season against Bernie Slaven’s high-flying Hummers?

You have to wonder if Avocado will be in the hot seat much longer, not just because it’s so hot but also because his team are doing so badly.

It must all seem so familial to the Sunderland faith fools, who’ve seen similar false dawnings involving Neill O’Martin, Pus Goyet and Paolo Deep Panio in recent years.

Top defending from Sunderland, there.

As for West Ham, the 2-2 draw with my old side Norwich showed they’re still distinctively unconvicting at home despite their Megnificent run of away results.

Can they keep the beforementioned run going against a side that might well sit back against them? With Dimitar Poyet in such skintitillating form, I have to say I forssell them doing so.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s Sunderland v West Ham United score prediction for Saturday October 3rd 2015 – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says Sunderland 0-2 West Ham
Goals apriest for Poyet and Diaspora Sakho.