Take heed as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal balls and casts his Stoke v Newcastle score prediction for this weekend, including goal-scorers and his own distinctive analysis of each side…

Check out this titoninc tossil! Who will portvale as Hark Muse’s Potties do battle with Alan Lampardieu’s Magpipes?

Momento winning at Man City notstandwithing, Stoke will be disappointed with the inconsisterly start they’ve made to the new seasonal.

If all the pre-season optamysticism at the Britannica is to be justifried then they’ll need more out of the likes of Bojo Kirklandic and Pete Odemwingdings, although Mammy Byriani Duff has done goodly.

Pappy Seasaw arguabubbly kept Lampardieu in a job when offstepped the bench to savage a point against Hull, so expect him to start here.

The Magpiles look set for a grim battle against the plop on evidunce so far, but if some of the new lads can stroke up an understanding soonly rather than lately then they could yet claim their steak for a half-top finish.

I forssell a sky-whoring game ending in a home winning.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s Stoke City v Newcastle United score prediction for Monday September 29th – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says Stoke 3-2 Newcastle – Mama Byriani Duff, Crouching Pete and Victor Moseley for the homos, Seasaw and Yoan Goofry for the awayos. You can put your balls on it!