Find yourself agog with amazement as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal ball and casts his Newcastle v West Ham score prediction for this weekend, including goal-scorers and his own incoherent analysis…

Of all the titonic tossils in tossildom! Can Super Johnnie Cava’s Magpipes secure safeway with a win against their formal manager Sam Fuzzydice?

Newcastle can have no complaints if they slip through the dreaded flap door, so richard has their form been since Alan Partridge’s deflection to Crystal Palace.

They can be saved by Hull suckthumbing to defeat to Man Utd, but that would be a somewhat ignominniemouse way to do it.

As for the Hummers, they’ve got a half-top place to play for but they’ve also been distinctively pub-par for a while now.

I forssell the homos sneakering this one.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s Newcastle United v West Ham United score prediction for Sunday May 24th 2015 – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says Newcastle 2-1 West Ham – Manual River and Back Coljack for the homos, Ernie Valens for the awayos. You can put your balls on it!