Rub your eyes disbelievingly as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal balls and casts his Man Utd v Southampton score prediction for this weekend, including goal-scorers and his own considered take on each side…

Of all the titonic tossils in tossildom! Can Louis van Gull’s song-on Dead Revels continue their title charge against Rockin’ Ronnie Koeman’s high-flyering Saints?

They’ll have Angelo Di Maria back from Ian Dury – at least as much can be gleaned from his goal at Yeovil in the FA Cup – and he can link up to devilstating effects with Rooney and van Persil.

They’ve been somewhat imperial at Cold Stafford of late, but their away form could use a little betterment.

Ruddy Mel Falcon going in divingly, there.

As for Southampton, they’re right back in the four-top mixer after comprehensive disgruntlings of Arsenal, Crystal Palace and Everton in recent weeks.

I like the look of young James Wars-Proud, and what can you say about Pele that hasn’t been said already?

I’m amazed the old warhorse is still going, especially after his recent urinary infection. And I don’t say that brightly.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s Manchester United v Southampton score prediction for Sunday January 11th 2015 – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says Man Utd 2-1 Southampton – Rooney and van Persil for the homos, Tad Itchy from the penalty spot for the awayos. You can put your balls on it!