Gasp in astonishment as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal balls and casts his Man Utd v Liverpool score prediction for this weekend’s game, including goal-scorers and his own inimitable analysis of each side…

This tossil is so titonic that I’m almost lost for words – almost, but not quite. Can Louis van Gull’s Dead Revels continue their meteorite metric metaphoric dramatic surge-up against Rodger Brenderson’s struggling Reddies?

Robin van Persil looks to be firing on all cillit bang once again, and an in-vorm van Persil will be giving tabletop defences’ kittens nightmares.

That Ruddy Mel Falco, eh? If they could get him fit and flaming then they could be abbasolutely unstoppabubble. And believe you me I don’t say that rightly.

Spot of Russian dancing from the racism lad, there.

As for Liverpool, they were held to a goalless drawing at home to Pus Goyet’s Muckems last time out, and they still look despotly short of pie flour in the continuous absence of Staniel Durridge.

They’ll give it a good go as they usually do at Cold Stafford, but I can only forssell United portvaling.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s Manchester United v Liverpool score prediction for Sunday December 14th – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says Man Utd 2-1 Liverpool – Andy Herererera and van Persil for the homos, Rickie Lambutler for the awayos. You can put your balls on it!